DO NOT NEGOTIATE.
Your old self will resist and rear it’s ugly head. (not that your head is ugly – I’m sure you’re gorgeous both inside and out, but you know what I’m saying)
The more you embody this new identity, the more your old self will resist. This is actually a good sign, because if there was no resistance it would probably mean you weren’t invested in the outcome, or were half-assing it.
Expect the resistance. Beware of it.
Then when it comes up DO NOT negotiate.
Use the zero-second non-negotiation method.
What this means is, if you’re tempted (and you will be from time to time – everyone is when starting a new habit) then don’t give your old identity any room for negotiation.
So if you used to identify as a smoker and you are quitting now, when the thoughts and cravings come. Maybe you’re out for dinner at a restaurant and you think ‘I could just have one cigarette after dinner’ Say NO. And immediately get up and go wash your hands in the rest room instead.
Or if you’re working on eating healthier, and you’re out for dinner, and you think ooooh pizza. Say NO. Stick to the salad you’d decided on and SLAM your menu shut. Zero-second rule. There’s no need to even LOOK at the pizza or dessert menu, because that would just be tempting yourself and then you’d have all the back-and-forth-negotiation in your head going on. SLAM the door shut on negotiation and temptation – it’s just needless suffering and potentially self sabotage.
Remember your identity as this new improved version of you (example, a non-smoker, no longer a smoker) You wouldn’t participate in something that isn’t you.
Make it seem ridiculous. The furthest thing from your identity as possible.
if you’re an animal lover you wouldn’t kick a puppy.
If you are healthy you wouldn’t drink a bottle of bleach.
Treat this the same.
Get in touch with your new identity and embody that. Pretend this has been your new habit for years already. That new self wouldn’t be tempted and wouldn’t negotiate. It would be the furthest thing from your mind.
ADOPT THE ZERO-SECOND RULE. DO NOT NEGOTIATE.
Say your mantra. Say it loud.
Say it proud. Say it all the time. Repeat it as much as you can.