21 DAYS OF BUILDING NEW HABITS – DAY 17

21 DAYS OF BUILDING NEW HABITS.

DAY 17

GET CONFIDENT.

Tap into your confidence about how well you are now doing this new habit. It’s not even that new to you any more.

Push your fears and doubts aside and reside in that confident, self-assured place. Your fears and doubts aren’t true anyway (remember not to believe every thought you have).

You take on a lot of other people’s beliefs during your childhood, because as children we are like little sponges absorbing everything around us and taking it at face value as the truth. They are actually JUST beliefs, and some of them probably weren’t even your own. You don’t have to keep those beliefs if they aren’t serving you. So ditch the doubt.

A happy mind = a happy body. There is a powerful mind-body link and you can use this to your advantage when building your new habit.

When something negative happens we go into a state of stress and start focusing on the negative that has happened, even though that’s not the ONLY thing going on. For example, if someone got bitten by a snake or received a bad diagnosis, they would most often go into a state of fear. When we are in “fight, flight or freeze,” we actually produce more stress hormones that in turn sabotage our healing. The stress hormones cortisol and adrenalin suppress our immune function – so being in a state of fear doesn’t help us. They only help us if the stressful situation is acute, rather than a chronic stressor. So for example, if we needed to run from a predator RIGHT NOW, then adrenaline is awesome because your body uses it to run faster or fight harder. But if the stressor is a more long term issue than a quick run, like if you’ve been given a bad diagnosis or have been put on probation at work, then those hormones won’t help you feel better in your body or in your mind. Our bodies weren’t designed with modern day society’s chronic stressors in mind.

So do whatever it takes to cultivate feel-good hormones. Get the dopamine and serotonin flowing, and get into a state of wellbeing and confidence instead. It will take you further with your new habit.

Ways to build confidence can be to sit up straight and start acting like the person you are becoming. Ooze with confidence. This habit is so normal and every day now, that it’s not even a big deal. If you’re eating healthier, that bag of open potato chips your kids have got isn’t even something that registers on your radar. You just walk on by because you have more important things going on.

Another way to build confidence is to write down 3 things you didn’t think you could accomplish. When you did something you didn’t think you’d be able to. Remind yourself how awesome you are.

See you tomorrow for day 18!

Go back and read DAY 16 HERE. Go to DAY 18 HERE


How TO BUILD A NEW HABIT IN 21 DAYS – DAY 10

HOW TO BUILD A KICK ASS NEW HABIT (parenting or otherwise) in 21 DAYS.

DAY 10

SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GREATNESS.

You are the average of the 5 people you spend the most time with. Surround yourself with the people who support your dream.

If you are quitting drinking then hanging out with party people alcoholics will not help you stay focused, or keep a positive mindset about your new habit.

You want to make your habit as easy as possible to do, you don’t want anyone raining on your parade and making your new habit feel like a pain in the ass, an inconvenience or an alien concept. If you want to shout less at your children, hanging out with moms who hit their kids and say ‘it’s good for them with this kind of discipline – it gives them character,’ won’t help you. In fact if anything, they’ll probably look at you like you’re an alien being that is offering them unsolicited advice, just by your existence. If ever there was a way to fuel self-doubt it’s by surrounding yourself with people who feel like your dream is a criticism of their lifestyle – because they will react to you, and it’s hard not to take that on. Save your energy and surround yourself with likeminded people instead.

People who already have/do what you’re aiming for can be excellent role models. Hang out with them or team up as accountability buddies. Get a coach, mentor or join a support group.

Remind yourself why you’re doing this – or who you are doing this for (your kid for example) and plaster a great big picture of them up somewhere to remind yourself. Or do a vision board to keep you focused. If you are committing to do yoga everyday to be more flexible, relaxed, and get a toned body then create a collage of people doing yoga, maybe throw some pictures of yourself on there – or get freaky and stick pictures of your face over theirs! Have fun, great creative and keep your environment positive.

Watch inspiring Ted talks, repeat your mantra, read inspiring books, watch films that keep you motivated. Meditate, Pray. Focus on keeping your mood and vibe high, because when we feel good, we believe we can achieve our goals, and when we are depressed we lack motivation.

See you tomorrow for day 11!

Go read DAY 9 HERE. Go to DAY 11 HERE


How to build a new habit in 21 days – DAY 9

DAY 9

TAKE TINY BITES.

The trick is not to overwhelm yourself. Some people go crazy with fitness for example to start with and can’t maintain it. They get tired and burn themselves out. It would be better to set yourself a smaller goal and then stick to it.
Set a timer and do five squats every half an hour, or just do one push up a day, then build it to two push ups, then three… Build up gradually so you are more invested in being in this for the long run.

If you find playing role-play games with your kid tedious, start with short periods of time of 5 minutes then gradually build it. Or if it’s making time to read with your child every day, again smaller bites of 5-10 minutes here and there are better than suddenly deciding to read for 45 minutes a day and then ditching it completely after 5 days because you can’t manage to fit it into your already packed schedule.
Be kind to yourself and start small, making more and more space and time for your new habit in your life.

See you tomorrow for day 10!

And remember to say your mantra.

Drop it in the comments below!

Go READ DAY 8 HERE


21 days to building a parenting new habit – day 6

DAY 6

CREATE A RITUAL


I know a girl who meditates every day, but in order to do it she has to get out her yoga mat to sit on and she lights a candle. If she tries to meditate from her sofa, it doesn’t work for her. If she tries to meditate laying down, she gets distracted. She has set herself a little ritual that makes it easier for her to focus her mind, settle her thoughts, and know that it’s time to get down to business.

So what could this be for you?

What ritual could you create for your new habit to signify that you mean business?

Think of something that works for you. It can be fun or it can be deadly serious.
Maybe it’s a particular song you listen to before going for a run to get yourself all pumped up. Maybe it’s a particular t-shirt you put on before you sit down to work. Maybe you put on war paint before you go to the gym.

Maybe you drink a glass of milk with your kid before sitting down to read a story before bedtime.



Whatever it is, it’s s symbol of how you’re showing up for yourself. It becomes a sacred act. This is about more than just this habit, it’s about showing yourself that YOU are in charge. Not that crappy inner critic voice inside your head. Scare that voice off with war paint and determination.

Say your mantra now and say it LOUD. Show that voice who’s boss.

If you want to be extra inspired there’s a short video by Tony Robbins (leading life coach) where he gets his audience to shout a series of statements to get them in a strong mindset. It starts with ‘Now I am the voice’ I’m sure you can probably find it online if you want to have something to say to yourself every day in the mirror.

See you tomorrow for day 7!

Go back and read DAY 5 HERE.


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