Are you sick and tired of overthinking EVERYTHING?
Who here has laid awake at night replaying the day? Wondering what could have been done differently? Wondering if your intentions were misunderstood or you accidentally pissed someone off?
The little voice of your “self-doubt monster” often makes you wonder if you got it “right” or even worry that you didn’t.
If you’re sick and tired of feeling like that I have tools that will make a measurable impact. Take you from self-doubt and worry, and elevate you to switch gear into self-confidence. You’ll be shrugging these things off because they’ll no longer concern you.
The way you feel INSIDE is what counts.
As long as YOU know your intentions, as long as YOU know what you’ve done is your best, the rest doesn’t matter. You know that already on a ‘head level’ – but it feels easier said than done. Now you need to know it on a heart level. A deeper level.
The tools I will give you in my 7 week SATURATED LOVE BOOT CAMP, will go deep and shift your perspective. Permanently.
Once you see things differently, and you’ve shifted gears into confidence, you’ll not want to go back to how things were before.
That’s why my clients are having lasting change. They are waking up feeling energised because they haven’t been laying awake at night worrying.
Worry and shame are such energy suckers. They literally drain you from feeling good and having motivation to get up and go do the things you want.Instead you end up moping and feeling like ‘what’s the point?’
Well, I’ll tell you the point!
You were not meant to live an unfulfilled life! You were meant to love the life you have – and feel good about yourself – on a daily basis!
So if you’re ready to start feeling good about yourself MOST of the time instead of just SOME of the time – then click HERE to read about what exactly you’ll be getting in the SATURATED LOVE BOOT CAMP.
Did I mention it’s on an offer right now?$65 (normally $397)
Whatever you identify as, I bet you and I have things I common with our stories.
I’m 40 years old and moved back “home” to Denmark about 6 years ago.
The reason for the air quotes is because I never grew up here. So it didn’t really feel like home when we first returned. Though technically Danish because I was born here and both my parents are Danish, I have spent most of my life living abroad in Saudi Arabia, Kuwait, Dubai, the Philippines and the UK.
I grew up as an expat living in a lot of interesting cultures and learnt so much from each place I lived. Each place was unique and had as many pros and cons as the next place. I loved trying new foods and meeting new people from all over the world, but I also know how lonely it can feel when you first move somewhere new and how you can feel like a bit of an outsider until you get to know the ways things are done in each place. If you yourself are an international, you will know what I mean. There are definite plus sides and down sides to moving a lot.
It can be especially hard when the new place has its very own language. Things like reading labels on food at the supermarket – a small thing we normally take for granted – can suddenly become quite daunting or complicated.
Having spent my whole childhood in other countries because of my father’s job, it seemed somewhat natural to move back home to Denmark when starting my own family. We wanted to settle down somewhere. Denmark seemed a natural choice since that was where I was from and I spoke the language fluently. I wanted that fresh Scandinavian air for my son’s childhood! I had childhood memories of playing in the woods when we returned to Denmark for holidays.
However, when we first moved it was much harder than I had anticipated. We had been living in England, and on the surface the two countries seem really similar – both European, both similar climates. I had a really good job, a great education, and thought my skills would be easily transferrable.
When we got here we realised that Denmark has certain traditional ways of doing things. Not having grown up here I was unfamiliar with these traditions and it was like learning a whole new culture. I felt like a round peg trying to fit into a square shaped hole sometimes. It was harder for my husband, as he was learning a fresh new language too!
Still we made new friends, got to know our lovely welcoming neighbours.
It was still a steep learning curve though. Sometimes I’d send my son to kindergarten in the “wrong” clothes and we were learning to dress for the weather, and sometimes learning things the ‘hard way’. It took time, and having moved to a small town mostly inhabited with local families we will probably always be considered “different” or like some of the “newcomers”. I had to look within to see who I really was at my core and how I could still be me in this new place without giving up my authenticity at the cost of “fitting in”
Though I hold degrees from prestigious Universities in England, my qualifications were not recognised here. I had been manager for a counselling service for a children’s charity in a number of schools in England. We offered families therapy. I was told if I wanted to carry on working in psychology I would have to retrain and start my eduction again. That was quite surprising to me as well.
I decided to become a parenting coach, and work with people internationally. There are millions of different ways to parent – just as there are millions of unique family cultures on the planet. Each home is different, no matter where you grew up or where you started.
You can read a ton of books, and have a bunch of wonderful theories and research behind what you do – but you are the one who is living YOUR unique life. You are the one who knows what lights you up and brings you joy in YOUR home. Therefore, I help parents become the experts on their own families, and get them tapped into their own parenting intuition.
I specialise in in positive self-worth in Mothers. When parents do the inner work and become unshakable in their confidence and parenting intuition, they can relax into themselves and parent from the heart.
They learn to own their authenticity and unique personalities, and know that no matter where they are they will always be “at home” – because when you feel at home in your self, you have a sense of belonging anywhere.
If you’d like an inner sense of belonging, then take a look here to read more.
Sometimes people get triggered or annoyed when I say they should make time for self-care.
“I don’t have time for that.” Or “I’m exhausted.” Or even “I’m a mother.”
It’s just not a priority because everything else comes first. People tell themselves everything else needs to come first.
Of course, I get it. We need to keep our homes running. We can’t just bail on our responsibilities.
But we can inject little pockets of joy or take little moments to chill during our day. It doesn’t have to be all or nothing.
It could be as simple as taking 5 minutes to do some breathing exercises or meditation to feel recharged. It could be a 10 minute foot soak while the kids are in bed.
Mothers work their butts off. Mothers deserve and NEED to rest. They forget that.
Oftentimes, the loving work that mothers do is taken for granted. And when you are taken for granted enough times, you start to buy into it too. Eventually it can affect the way you feel about yourself.
Finding time to look after yourself can feel like a struggle at first – it goes against everything we’ve been taught to believe. We are taught to wear our hard work and sacrifice as a badge of honour.
All it takes is a shift in mindset.
You are about to entrust your most precious child with a babysitter for the first time and you are looking for just the right person. Do you think that the well-being of the person who’s going to be looking after your child is important? I bet you do. I bet you’d want to make sure they had whatever they needed so that they’d be happy to look after your child to the best of their ability.
You wouldn’t want someone who was exhausted beyond the point of recognition.
You’ve got to start looking after the person who is looking after your children: the most important little humans in your world!
That person is you. And you deserve to recharge. ❤️
Does that mean I love all parts of being a mother?
Who enjoys being sleep deprived? Who enjoys cleaning up vomit? Seriously. Picking up other people’s dirty underwear? Never quite knowing what surprise you may find under someone’s bed? I swear to Buddha, if I find one more stinky gross forgotten lunchbox in a school bag after the summer holidays I’ll burn the house down. (Okay, after a couple of deep breaths I know that I won’t. But seriously, I’m done with forgotten lunchboxes. Six weeks is too long, there’s no coming back from that).
So if you, like I, are a normal, sane human (mostly), and sometimes feel like motherhood is hard, and sometimes a joy: That’s normal. You’re normal.
I just wanted to remind you of that, in case you’d forgotten. In case you’d started believing the images of the supposed “super moms“ on Instagram, Pinterest, or any other social media platform. Remember we are ALL super moms (the ones who show up and give it their best, knowing their best will be different on different days), it’s not just the people posting the “perfect” pictures on social media.
And while we are at it – just another friendly reminder, what you see on instagram is never the whole picture. Everyone has the good moments, every one has the trying ones. It is just that many people post more of the good moments, giving us a weird skewed sense of reality. So if we know what’s good for us, we limit the time we spend on social media.
So, yes while I love being a mother, I don’t enjoy every single second of it. And that’s okay. I don’t have to.
I find it crazy that you need a license to do something like, say, fishing – but there are no rules or obligatory preparation for becoming a parent. I’m not saying that there should be, but my point is this: It is infinitely more complex to become a parent, and be a good one, than so many other things that there are very clear rules and regulations for.
Anyone can become a parent.
You can be a parent on ‘autopilot’, living moment-to-moment, going through life without giving a second thought to the effects of your actions on this other person’s life. This other little person that you chose to bring into the world. Anyone can be a half-assed parent.
The quest is to be a good parent.
Being a good parent doesn’t mean killing yourself trying to be the ‘perfect’ parent, or the ‘best’ parent. These things are impossible, and breed competition, rivalry, exhaustion, and burn-out.
Also, an a different note, what does that type of parenting role model for your children? Striving to do the impossible, killing yourself trying to live up to an ideal that is actually a fantasy and not a reality – this teaches you to ignore your own body and mind’s cues saying you need to rest and replenish. This also leaves you always feeling inadequate as you can never reach this impossible goal. This is a breeding ground for low self-esteem and insecurity. It’s like trying to look like the airbrushed models in the magazines: You will never succeed as that is not how they look in reality. It’s not real. Is that what you want to teach your children? That they are not good enough unless they’re ‘perfect’? Which, actually they will never be, so therefore you actions are teaching them that they will never be good enough.
Children learn through what they see and experience, not just what you tell them with your words.
The key to successful parenting is simple.
So the key is this: Don’t try to be perfect, but also don’t live in apathy.
Anyone can be a half-assed parent. Anyone can spend less time on parenting and more time and attention on how they look, the brand of their clothes, their friends, and how things are going at work.
Being a parent is a responsibility. It is something we chose to do. Whether you feel ready for the responsibility or not, it is there. It’s not something you can switch off. It is not something you can shrug your shoulders at, or wash your hands of.
Whatever you decide to do will affect your children.
I don’t say this to inspire fear, but to remind us of what an important job we’ve undertaken. In a society that values people by their income and attaches dollar signs to everything, the role of parenthood is sometimes downplayed.
My message is clear.
We need to be aware parents. We need to know ourselves. When we tune into ourselves we are better able to tune into our children and their needs.
Operating on autopilot, with blinkers on, will no longer suffice. We can’t wait till an issue arises to deal with it. We can’t wait for the shit to hit the fan to take action, because then we will be firefighting. Firefighting isn’t just a problem because it’s stressful and not a fun way to live. It is also a problem because you are just keeping your head above water if you are only dealing with quelling problems. This is not reaching your full potential or living your best life – far from it. Nor does this help your children lead their best lives, and isn’t that what it’s all really about?
Self awareness is key. We need to know ourselves as people, in order to know ourselves as parents.
If we are to look after someone else, we need to look after our selves. How can we know how to best look after our needs if we can’t identify them? If we need rest and relaxation because we are on the brink of burn-out from trying too hard, how will we be able to do that if we don’t know what relaxes us or brings us joy?
Or how will we know what provokes us to anger in stressful situations if we don’t know ourselves and don’t know our triggers?
I think we can all think of times where we have inadvertently gotten angry and ended up shouting at our child because we’ve been triggered by something that they’ve done. We may not have meant to shout at them but something in us just reacted. We end up feeling bad and guilty afterwards because it’s as if we know the whole thing could have been avoided. Is this how we want to live? Reacting? Feeling out of control and unable to stop, then later guilty?
Get to know yourself.
We need to live authentically for ourselves and for our families. We need to spend time on our own needs, as well as others’. Otherwise we are just leading a half-assed life, a life without colour or flavour. A life of rinse and repeat, again and again, until one day it was over. Done. A life finished – but not complete.
We don’t know how long we have on this wonderful planet, we should be using each day wisely. Being the best we can be in all areas. Life is too short to waste, and no one is going to come along and change it for us.
We are the drivers, we are in control. We must take responsibility for the life that we see before us. If we don’t like what we see, I’m sorry to say it, but we are the ones who have created it. The good news is we are the ones who created it! That means we are also the ones who can change it if it needs changing.
It’s time to rise up.
Anyone can be a parent. Anyone can live an okay, mediocre, “survivable” life. But we shouldn’t be surviving and just getting by, we should be thriving and growing; as parents and as people.
Work on yourself. It is possible to be work in progress and a masterpiece at the same time. Any work you do on yourself is an investment in yourself, your future, and the future of your children.
Hit me up for inspiration or tips on how to start if you’re not sure how. There’s a free consultation session waiting for you if you’d like to talk some of this through. Just get in touch.
Okay, so you’ve decided you’d like some coaching. Now the question is, why choose me?
You have got to listen to your gut feeling on this one. You will know who is the right Parenting Coach for you, so just trust yourself. Maybe have a free consultation session with a few different coaches and see who you click best with, or who makes the most sense according to your lifestyle and values.
I’ve spent 8 years studying psychology, three of which were specifically geared towards children and adolsecents and their families. This focused very much on how our childhood experiences affect us and help to shape us into the adults we later become. I’ve worked in several kindergartens and schools, and run three projects for a charity organisation offering children therapy in schools, while also running my private practice. I have helped hundreds of families and children.
However, all this experience and knowledge did still not fully prepare me for actually becoming a parent myself. It’s one thing to be educated to help others, and a whole other thing to experience it yourself. It was raw, it was sometimes painful and it was such a huge indescribable change in my life. It turned my life upside down.
So I know what it is like. I know how challenging it can be.
Despite having studied for all those years, when it’s your own child it just feels different. They pull on your heart strings, and they push all your buttons – even ones you didn’t know were there!
How I went from sometimes struggling parent to thriving parent
Even with all the information and knowledge I had, I still experienced feelings of confusion and inadequacy. There was so much contradictory information about what to do and how to parent. Everyone was telling me to do different things, and I was so tired that I was sometimes just trying to cope and survive. I was probably parenting the way I wanted to for about 20% of the time, and was acting on autopilot for 80% of the time, just repeating patterns from my own childhood, or semi-blindly following other people’s advice.
Because I wasn’t following my own parenting intuition and wasn’t looking after myself properly I was tired and overwhelmed and felt incredibly disconnected from myself.
Once I woke up to this and started putting things into place to support myself I turned it all around.
By being more present and living in a more connected and conscious way I now feel much better equipped with whatever comes. Life is still throwing me crazy curveballs – that never stops – but now I feel like I’m knocking them out of the ballpark by living an authentic life that really suits me. I am now parenting the way I consciously want to about 80% of the time, and less so around 20% of the time. There is always room for improvement, because there are always external factors we can’t fully control and also unconscious motivators and patterns playing a part in our lives. But life isn’t static, there is no end destination – we are on a constant journey – so that is to be expected. We will never be 100% perfect, and part of growing and evolving is letting go of that illusion. It only keeps us stuck in feelings of inadequacy and comparison with others rather than helping us accept where we are at and embracing our strengths and identifying our difficulties.
We are all so unique and only we can know what will make us truly happy. No one else can dictate to us what we should be doing with our lives or our children, and if we were to live by someone else’s words or values we would lose ourselves and we’d feel like our lives were missing something; some deeper connection.
I am here to help you connect with your inner resourceful parent, to listen to your inner voice and to stand by what it tells you. In a world full of uncertainty and confusing information I’m here to help you find out what works for you and your family. There are thousands of different ways to parent and to live a happy, thriving life. Let’s together find what works for you!
Book a free consultation now so we can identify your strengths and needs as a parent, and get you on track to living the life you envision for yourself.
Parenting Coaches offer support, guidance and reassurance for a variety of parenting issues.
A Parenting Coach can offer a safe, confidential, non-judgemental place to think together and reflect on what may work best for you and your family. They can help you identify goals or areas you’d like to work on and help you to formulate a plan for what you may wish to implement at home. They can then help hold you accountable, keep you inspired and motivated to stay on track with the plan you have made.
A Parenting Coach is not a therapist or doctor and will not diagnose you or your child.
A Parenting Coach is not here to tell you what you are doing is completely wrong and bulldoze your way of parenting. Each parent has their own parenting style and each family has its own way of thriving. A good Parenting Coach is here to help you identify your strengths, and activitate your inner resourcefulness. A Parenting Coach is here to help you feel strong and confident in your parenting skills and also to identify your blind spots. If a parenting coach makes suggestions at your request for ideas or things to try at home, it is your decision whether or not to implement these suggestions. You are in control – you are the driver. The Parenting Coach is a consultant that you hire.
Parenting Coaches can help with a variety of issues. Here are a few services a Parenting Coach may be able to offer you:
Stress-related parenting issues – help you find ways to take care of yourself and manage your stress.
Healthy ways to communicate with your child.
Finding ways to connect or deepen the bond you already have with your child.
Best parenting practices – using research-based best practices to incorporate into your way of parenting.
Parenting during transition or crisis – help you be the best parent you can be during a time of transition or crisis, for example loss of a loved one, or divorce.
To help you feel empowered as a parent, and to live a life you genuinely enjoy.
Help you create a work-life balance that works for you and your family.
Practical solutions – help you to prepare a plan to address things such as for example, defiance, eating habits, or difficulty sleeping.
To live an authentic life, where you feel you can truly be who you are : This can sometimes mean helping you to find a way to combine the ’old’ you from before you had a child, with the ‘new’ you to ”give birth” to an integrated version of yourself who you recognise and trust fully.
Get in touch with me if you are ready to embark on an amazing journey of self discovery and development.
I’m here to take your hand and walk alongside you as you come in to your own power as a parent, and as a person who is no longer afraid to live their best life.